Perfect
by RandomGirl200
Summary: She wasn't pretty. She wasn't tall. She wasn't slim. She wasn't perfect. Mara wasn't any of the above, and she felt as though she wasn't good enough for Jerome. So Mara thought it was time for a change, and she began to slowly stop eating. Mara didn't think it was so serious. She didn't know the effect it could have. *Jara**R&R*


**Hey there! (:**

**I felt like doing something for Jara, and I thought that Mara would get insecure and compare herself to others, and eventually lead to something.**

**THIS FF mentions and includes things about anorexia and similar situations. Just a quick heads up there.**

**I'm not making fun of it in any way, I know it's something that shouldn't be taken lightly, I am not trying to offend.**

**So, here it is.**

**I don't own House of Anubis.**

* * *

Mara knew that Jerome had a past with many previous relationships with many beautiful girls. He was quite the ladies man - that undeniable charm, those irresistible eyes, that handsome smile the girls swoon for.

There was nothing to swoon for about Mara, so she told herself.

She disliked the fact that there were so many past relationships.

The thing she hated most was that Mara compared herself to those blonde haired, thin as a twig beauties.

She felt as though she had to live up to that standard.

That was going to be difficult, especially for Mara.

His hand slipped into hers, instantly noticing the frown of thought upon her features. "You okay?" Jerome whispered, sending chills down Mara's spine.

"Yeah," she replied in an equally hushed tone, before he withdrew his hand to go help Trudy with the dishes.

The real answer was her far from being anywhere near 'fine'.

Mara compared herself to the many girlfriends of Jerome she had met in the early years, and how they were all so amazing, and how she was so plain.

They were as vibrant as rainbows.

Mara?

To herself, she was as dull as a piece of paper.

* * *

Mara remembered Kirsty.

How Jerome had brought her round to the house when they were all fifteen, and even back then, she was the definition of a goddess.

"I'd give anything to look like her," Amber had said to her in a stunned tone, which Mara thought was preposterous. Amber was beautiful, inside and out, something Mara could never be even in her wildest dreams.

"You don't need to be mega skinny and have a face full of make up like Kirsty to be beautiful," Joy had responded.

According to most people, they did.

When Mara compared herself to Kirsten, she saw a tall, pretty blonde. Her?

She saw nothing.

* * *

The next month, they were all at school on the field playing football, before Nina had even been accepted to Anubis. The boys were all playing, aside from Fabian whom was sitting on the grass quarrelling playfully with Joy and Patricia. Mara and Amber just sat at one of the benches, cheering the boys on whilst the cheerleaders came out of the school to watch.

Mara was finding it hard to ignore the fact that Jerome went with the typical model type girls, as one of the cheerleaders with extremely long, slim legs ran over to him after he had scored a goal, and engulfed him into a hug.

Jerome was taller than her, but only by a little.

"Jenna," Amber commented. "Amazing cheerleader, and she's almost as sweet and as pretty as Victoria Beckham!" that was coming from Amber, the QUEEN of beauty, and she had just ranked Jenna on how stunning she was.

Mara was sure she'd be last - no, she wouldn't even be on the scale.

Mara was jealous - sure, she was happy that Jerome was happy, but she couldn't ignore the familiar green eyed jealousy monster that was coming over her, that she knew all too well.

Monster.

A hideous thing for a hideous girl.

* * *

Mara recalled the time when everybody was eating dinner, and she had politely excused herself to go to the bathroom. So she had bounded up thee stairs, walked into the girls' restroom and locked herself in, before turning to the mirror.

Her reflection stared back at her, and she had to lift her hand and touch her cheek to double check that this was her.

Was she really this bad?

She just wanted to be thin, pretty and tall to fit Jerome's standards, was that too much to ask?

Apparently so.

What if she dyed her hair? Blonde, to fit the numerous amount of constant girls with the colour that Jerome seemed to adore so much? Would that work?

She couldn't pull off anything.

At least, that's what she had kid herself.

Mara dismissed the thought of dying her hair and proceeded to point out her flaws.

This would take a while.

* * *

By the fifth girl Jerome had dated, Mara didn't exactly care what her name was at this point. All she noted down was the same appearance.

Blonde. Tall. Skinny as a twig.

This girl had a slight bad attitude, a bit like Patricia, but less... red head. She was mean spirited and cold, and Mara often recognised her at Sweet's office for detentions.

Was he into bad girls now as well?

That's what mainly influenced her to come to school that day, hair pin straight, tie loose, skirt and a pair of Patricia's tights clinging to her legs. Mick was partly the reason, but mainly to see if Jerome noticed.

And he did.

But of course, his girlfriend was still there, and he forgot about Mara's spunky new look in a matter of five minutes.

So she was just basically a one minute wonder.

She couldn't do anything right.

* * *

Another girl, but Mara learned her name this time. Leanne.

Again, she was blonde, picture perfect, with the same shade of blue eyes as Jerome.

She came round to Anubis and ate lunch with them, when they were having Trudy's spaghetti bolognese.

"I can't eat this!" Mara seemed to be the only one who had heard Leanne's whisper to Jerome. "So many carbs! I'll get fat!"

Mara reluctantly finished the mouthful she was chewing.

Maybe that's what was where she was going wrong.

Later that day, when she glanced in the mirror again, she saw an overweight stomach and fairly big thighs, those thighs that she hated so much and caused her so much insecurity.

Leanne's words echoed inside Mara's mind.

"I'll get fat!"

Leanne may have stopped there, but for Mara, it was too late.

* * *

Mara distinctively remembered Sarah as the one who made her realise the horrible, hideous beast she was to this very day.

The girl who made her realise the dreadful truth about herself.

Sarah was his last girlfriend until Nina arrived, which was the course of six months. Six months he was single, and that seemed to be an all time record.

Sarah was tall, slender but a brunette. Surprise, surprise. Mara assumed he wasn't obsessed with blondes after all.

Just girls that had an amazing figure.

Sarah stood at Jerome's locker, waiting for him to arrive, compact mirror in hand as she adjusted her hair parting for what seemed like the millionth time that minute. Mara was blessed to have a locker just three spaces away.

"You like Jerome," Sarah's voice cut through the air like a knife, startling Mara. She slammed her locker in shock.

"No I don't," Mara said indignantly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"There's no point arguing, I can see it in your eyes," Sarah spoke icily. "Then again, it's not like you have a shot with him anyway. Face it, Mara, you aren't boyfriend material. You're a nerd, Jerome's hot. Plus, you aren't exactly the thinnest thing on Earth, never mind the prettiest."

Mara flinched at this, and dug her nails into her palm.

So it was true, at least, to Sarah.

"When you drop a few dress sizes, or apply a little make up, then maybe you could at least score your first boyfriend," Sarah snickered.

Mara left in a hurry after that, and the tears came soon after.

* * *

One morning before school, Mara had straightened her hair once again, but asked Amber for a favour of applying make up.

Sarah's words had stayed in her mind, even after six months.

Mara felt worthless, and her mind kept repeating that as Amber applied the finishing touches of eyeliner (or whatever she was using).

"You look beautiful, Mara!" Amber gushed, twirling the raven haired girl around in the spot.

Amber was right, she did look beautiful, for once in her life.

She just didn't feel it.

Her friends had noticed that she had make up on, and had commented on it.

Just not the comment from the person she was hoping for.

* * *

For the first week, her housemates didn't expect much of it when Mara began to come up with the excuses of 'sleeping in late' in mornings to miss breakfast, or be busy with homework at the time dinner rolled around.

Then again, they never gave anything to do with Mara a second glance.

After all, it WAS Mara. Weak, nerdy, ugly, pathetic Mara.

Mara clutched her stomach as the words circled her brain.

Fat was cluttering her body, and she hated it, even if people said she was as thin as a pin. She wanted it gone.

She wanted to be happy.

* * *

One morning she did appear at breakfast, and Nina had offered her a slice of Trudy's french toast that was simply to die for.

Mara's hand twitched under the table, and it took all of her strength to control herself and not devour the food.

It had been three days since her last bite of food, and her stomach occasionally grumbled.

She ignored it, though.

Nothing would interrupt Mara on becoming beautiful.

Nina shrugged, and took the toast herself, and everybody stared at Mara for a moment before continuing the coversation.

Maybe she wasn't important after all.

Possibly when she would stop being fat and turn out slim, they'd notice her.

Possibly.

* * *

Mara checked the scale this morning, and had discovered to had lost seven pounds.

Mara still felt as though there was still all of the weight on her, and she couldn't stand it.

She wanted it gone.

She needed it gone.

Though, looking in the mirror at her stomach, you could tell it had gotten thinner.

Mara didn't notice any difference.

Then again, Mara never noticed any difference.

She was the same, horrible, fat blob to herself.

To everybody.

* * *

Two weeks without food, and it was taking it's toll. Sure, Mara drank plenty of fluids and jogged a lot (she still trained with Mick in the mornings, which payed off nicely for what she was attempting to achieve) but Mara felt weak.

She hated feeling weak, even if she felt it constantly.

She despised being looked down upon, being judged, everything.

Mara longed to feel normal.

* * *

She dropped another amount of pounds, about five, but was still unhappy.

Mara entered health class and what were they learning about? Anorexia. Eating disorders.

Just Mara's luck.

The teacher was talking about all the downsides, but to Mara, there were none.

She'd turn out beautiful and skinny; it was a win-win situation.

How wrong she was.

Mara felt pain as they discussed such a delicate topic.

As they say, though... no pain? No gain.

* * *

"Mara?" Jerome whispered, nudging her as the bell sounded. Mara blinked twice, coming back to her senses. "School's over, let's head home."

"Okay," Mara whispered, ignoring the urgent growls of hunger erupting from her stomach.

Jerome raised an eyebrow. "You sound hungry," Jerome commented.

She knew she was, but at the same time, she wasn't.

She hadn't eaten in about three weeks, and it was driving her crazy.

"I'm fine," Mara reassured.

Lies.

* * *

Mara had lost count for how long she hadn't eaten, and how long she had felt extremely exhausted. Mara struggled to keep her eyes open as she let out a tremendous yawn.

"You should get some rest," Jerome says to her in the living room, and everybody glances up from what they're doing. "You look awful, like you haven't slept in days!"

Awful.

That stung, coming from even her own boyfriend.

She knew he didn't mean it in that way, obviously, but it still hurt.

"I-I'm fine," Mara stifled a yawn.

"You've been saying that for ages now, Mara!" Patricia said sternly.

"Because I really am fine," Mara replied, standing up slowly. "Really, there's no need to worry!"

There was every need to worry.

When Mara began to walk to the doorway she felt a sudden, weird sensation jolt through her legs, before losing feel in them altogether. She weakly put her hands out to prevent her fall, but miserably fell onto the cold wooden floor.

"Mara!" they all yelped, and numerous footsteps were heard clattering around.

Mara felt dizzy, consumed in a world where she didn't feel a thing. It was almost relaxing, if she wasn't then overcome by a tremendous wave of struggle, her breathing quickening.

Her eyelids felt as though dozens of weights were attempting to yank them down.

"Mara? Mara!"

Her eyes softly closed.

"Stay with me!"

* * *

Mara came around slowly, her eyelids fluttering open softly and taking in the harsh light of the white room.

A hospital is where she had ended up.

"Mara," a voice cracked, and Mara tilted her head to see a puffy-eyed Jerome, tears streaming down his face. "You're okay."

Mara didn't respond to that.

Instead, she hit up a whole new topic. "When can I go home?" she questioned, glancing around the sickly pale room, giving her an uncomfortable feeling of nausea. She'd always hated hospitals.

Especially when she was the patient.

"Doctors think you're anorexic," Jerome says thickly, taking her skinny wrist into his palm and he could practically feel the bones bursting through. "Why didn't you tell me you haven't been eating?"

"I didn't want to worry you," Mara's voice was hoarse as the tears welled up in her eyes. "I wanted to be perfect for you, Jerome, don't you understand? I thought if I cut down, became pretty, that you'd like me more!"

To say Jerome was shocked was an underestimate. "Mara, I'm going out with you because of how you were! I love how you're so adorkable and how excitable you got over such little things, and how passionate and determined you got over others! I love your hair," he ran his free hand through it as he spoke. "and your lovely eyes. I love everything about you, you didn't need to change."

"I know that now," Mara whispered.

Jerome nodded, allowing more and more tears to fall. "Promise me you'll eat, Mar. Just keep eating, don't ever change Mara. Ignore what other people say, or if you're intimidated by the way they look compared to you. Because you're beautiful." his expression grew serious. "Promise?"

"I promise, Jerome," Mara whispers, and he nods in satisfaction, before slowly leaning down and capturing her lips passionately, sending Mara into complete bliss.

"I love you," he murmured once more. "You're perfect."

"I love you, too," Mara grinned back - her first real smile, not a fake one whilst she was deprived of food - and they leaned in once more.

* * *

Finally, after Jerome's constant watching, hospitial food and tests, Mara was detached and was allowed home.

Jerome held her hand as he supported her, her legs still a bit uneasy and wobbly. He'd be there with her through anything. To think the one he most cared about had gone to such lengths to attempt to make him happier, to make herself happier, is beyond belief.

Their housemates came charging out onto the gravel outside to greet them, enclosing everybody into one giant group hug.

They were a giant family, and Mara thought it over. How could she had ever thought about hurting them in such a way? More importantly... how could she ever think about hurting HERSELF in such a way?

The mind works in mysterious ways, and that voice in Mara's head convinced her she was nothing, and the conniving mirror mocked her very, beautiful reflection.

Fabian, Nina, Amber, Patricia, Joy, Alfie, Mick and Eddie were all saying things to Mara that she couldn't make out because for one, they talk way too fast, two, they all spoke at the same time, three, Mara was too busy giggling to take notice.

Mara smiled at her housemates - or as she liked to refer to them as, the best friends anybody could ask for - before Jerome lead her up the stairs and into her room, which she wanted to rest in for a while and get some proper shuteye.

With Mara snuggled deep into her bed and under the comfort of her sheets, Jerome smiled softly at her. The one he loved, still with him. To think, Mara had done this to herself, but at the same time, didn't mean to. She overlooked the consequences, and looked on the 'bright' side.

All that mattered to Jerome was that she was okay.

"See you soon, Mara," he whispered quietly, before bending down and pressing his lips to her temple softly, and then he left her room.

Mara smiled to herself, before slowly beginning to drift off into a peaceful sleep, Jerome's words from that dreaded hospital echoing in her mind.

"You're perfect."

For once, she felt happy.

For once, she believed it.

* * *

**There it was.**

**I hoped you liked it, it was basically just Mara getting insecure and having eating troubles... yeah, I'm not the best writer so that didn't sound good, but you know...**

**So then - that's that. My first Jara fic as well, so I'd like to know how you thought it turned out. Should I do more for the pair? Let me know.**

**Thanks for reading, don't forget to review.**

**~Random (:**


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